Leonard D. Hilley II is a native of Ohio. Born in Middletown in 1966, his family moved to Alabama when he was six months old. At the age of three he was reading books. By age eleven he wrote his first novel.
Leonard spent most of his youth exploring the bluffs, meadows, and woods in the Pleasant Hill community near Fort Payne, Alabama. When he was ten years old, he viewed Dr. McKabe's insect collection and immediately his love for biology was birthed. He collected and reared butterflies and moths for many years.
Leonard currently lives in the mountains of Kentucky with his wife and two children where he is busily working on more novels, a screenplay, and a children's picture book.
His Goodreads fan page: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1194774.Leonard_D_Hilley_II
Facebook fan page: Leonard D. Hilley FB
Myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/deimosfactor
I'm not sure if my first comment went through. Fantastic story. I did a review of Shawndirea on my blog. There are a few typos and other issues as noted below
ReplyDeleteExcessive use of “beautiful” in chapter one and two: locations 90, 104,224, 231, 239, 262
Location 4700
“And once we’re always from here” should be “And once we’re a ways from here.”
Location 5176
“After that, the tracks disappear.” Shouldn’t this be in the past tense “After that, the tracks disappeared.”
Crossbows traditionally shoot bolts, not arrows, and a decent percentage of your readership will know this. Bolts are shorter and heavier than arrows. While some modern crossbows do shoot arrows, it seems unlike that is the type Roble encountered in Aetheaon.
Location 5676
You name Zauber in the second paragraph, which puts me in the point of view of Zauber. However, while it is not entirely clear, I think this scene is in Roble’s POV. You would be better off not naming Zauber until your fifth paragraph.
(Altho in general you are flexible in POV shifts within scenes. My editor at Champagne won’t allow that, although it generally works for you.)
Chapter Forty-Eight… you forgot the word chapter
But then, later you have a second Chapter Forty-Eight
Location 7637
unusual use of the word “girth”
Location 8220
“Others tired to sell deformed chickens,” should be “Other tried to sell deformed chickens.”
Chapter Sixty-Four just says Sixty-Four and does not have a page break
Thanks, Ken kennethdschultz@comcast.net
Hi Leonard!
ReplyDeleteI reviewed Forrest Wollinsky Books 1 and 2 a few months ago (LOVED them!!) and wanted to invite you to do a book tour organized by me and hosted on my blog and many others! Check out my page here for more info:
http://silver-dagger-scriptorium.weebly.com/book-a-tour.html
Or, you can always email me at silver_dagger_scriptorium@outlook.com
I REALLY hope to hear back from you soon!
Thanks,
Maia